Serial Monogamy is Just Polygamy in Installments



Nowadays, looking at the West has become a fashion. We copy their clothes, their food, and sadly, their confusion about relationships. There is a fancy term used by sociologists called "Serial Monogamy." It sounds very modern and civilized. But if you look closely, it is nothing but Polygamy in Installments.

In the old days, kings used to have many wives at the same time. That was simultaneous polygamy. Today, the modern "progressive" culture is to have many spouses, just one after the other. Marry, get bored, divorce, repeat. The result is the same: one person having multiple partners in a lifetime.

The "Use and Throw" Culture

In countries like the USA and UK, marriage has become like a mobile phone contract—you stay in it as long as the service is good, and the moment there is a connection error, you switch providers.

  • The US Reality: In America, nearly 40% to 50% of first marriages end in divorce. But here is the shocking part—the divorce rate for second marriages is even higher, around 60%, and for third marriages, it crosses 73%.

  • The UK Scenario: In the UK, it is estimated that 42% of marriages will end in divorce.

  • The Installment Plan: The average first marriage that ends in divorce lasts only about 8 years. This means a person might have a "husband for the 20s," a "husband for the 30s," and another for the 40s.

This is not stability. This is chaos disguised as freedom.

The Indian View

Compare this with the Indian concept. In our culture, marriage is not a signed contract between two individuals to share rent and Netflix passwords. It is a Samskara—a sacrament. It is a spiritual process to refine the soul.

Take the beautiful Telugu marriage ritual of Jeelakarra Bellam.

At the exact auspicious moment (Sumuhurtham), the bride and groom place a paste of Cumin seeds (Jeelakarra) and Jaggery (Bellam) on each other's heads.

Why these two?

  • Cumin is slightly bitter and has a strong smell.

  • Jaggery is sweet.

    When you mix them and grind them, they become an inseparable paste with a unique flavor.

The message is clear: "Life will have bitter moments (Jeelakarra) and sweet moments (Bellam). You cannot separate them. You must stick together through both." The couple is not looking at each other during this; they look forward, signifying they have a shared destiny. They don't promise "I will stay as long as I am happy." They promise "We are one entity now."

The Concept of Dharma Patni

In the West, a wife is a "partner." In India, she is Dharma Patni or Sahadharmacharini.

This doesn't mean "assistant." It means "Companion in Duty."

A Hindu husband cannot perform any major Yajna or religious ritual without his wife. She is his Ardhangini (half-body). If you treat your spouse as your spiritual half, you don't discard them just because they put on weight or forgot your birthday. You realize that your spiritual growth is tied to them.

The Ego Problem: Why We Are Copying the Wrong Things

Today, divorce rates in Indian cities (like Mumbai and Bangalore) are rising by 30-40%. Why? Is it always domestic violence? No.

Many times, it is just Psychological Ego.

We are seeing divorces for "silly" reasons:

  • "He listens to his mother too much."

  • "She earns more than me, and I feel small."

  • "We have 'compatibility issues'" (which usually means 'I want to live only my way').

This "Polygamy in Installments" culture is ruining our society. It breaks the joint family structure, it leaves children confused between "Daddy's house" and "Mommy's house," and it makes people intolerant. If you know you can leave anytime, you stop trying to adjust. You stop killing your ego.

Conclusion

We need to stop blindly aping the West. The Vedic definition of marriage was designed to kill the human ego and build a family unit that serves society (Dharma).

Does this mean you must suffer forever? No.

Sanatana Dharma is practical. If the spouse is:

  1. A Criminal

  2. Physically/Mentally Abusive

  3. A "Psycho" (severe, dangerous instability that threatens life)

Then yes, for self-preservation, separation is valid. Even our texts do not ask you to stay and get killed.

But leaving a marriage because of "boredom," "spark is missing," or "ego clashes" is a tragedy. We must reject the culture of Serial Monogamy. A marriage is not a consumer product to be upgraded; it is a garden to be watered.

Let us keep the Jeelakarra with the Bellam. That is where the true flavor of life is.

Comments

Post a Comment